Fried Pies from God, pies in background courtesy of markwgallagher on Flickr

Fried Pies from God (pies in background courtesy of markwgallagher on Flickr)

Human: “What’s up with all of this poverty crap, Big G, I need me a job!”

The Jim Carrey-like God: “JOB-SCHMOB! By the infinite power contained in my breast, I hereby bestow upon you the title of multi-billionaire and sole proprietor of the nation’s largest and most influential fried pie making corporation! Now go make me some more of those raspberry and lemon ones - which reminds me…I’ve already mowed through the ones you made me last week and need to do some sit-ups STAT!”

Why not? (really, why not?)